Friday, August 10, 2012

Hot Butter Jam

I'm nothing if not a trend-follower.
And so, I present my summer mix tape: the Hot Butter Jam!

Mika - Lollipop
Overplayed, you say? Well then Mika shouldn't have made it so god damn catchy.
Children dancing under a fire hydrant's spray having the kind of fun that we, as adults, can't (or aren't allowed to) have any more...until Mika comes flying out, playing the piano and leading the cast of Stomp in one of those stompy foot displays that are so obnoxious on the subway when you're trying to read.
What says summer more clearly (and loudly) than that?

David Bowie - Pablo Picasso
This man can do anything he wants, and that includes tearing this plodding Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers song a fiery new asshole with a huge, razor-sharp guitar lick. This song finds you flying over a shimmering desert, propelled solely by Bowie's voice and that god damn guitar riff.

Mickey Avalon - California Crack Cocaine
Okay, yes, the song is about drugs, BUT it's full of summery references and that chorus is so fucking catchy that it'll have you humming or, hopefully, singing the words at work, then having to explain them to your boss, then having him listen to it, then singing it HIMSELF!!! MAKE NEW FRIENDS!!!

Discovery - I Want You Back
You ever think there's something creepy about the original? About a little boy singing about all these big boy feelings? We'll these guys did and this is an excellent cover, so you'll just have to deal with it.
Pump this with the Turbo Bass® ON....actually, never mind, because this beat is MADE of Turbo Base®.

Flight of the Conchords - Foux Du Fafa
So breezy and ridiculous. And, come on, we've all faked a French accent to get some "summer lovin"*, haven't we?
No. We have not.

Gorillaz - 19/2000 (Soulchild remix)
One summer, I took a train from Orlando to Miami to visit Phil. I burned myself a mix CD that perfectly encapsulated the event: the anticipation of all the madness we were about to get up to, the joy of being with one of my best friends for days on end, and the cherished memories of when the trip, sadly, inevitably, had ended. This song was track number one. It takes the rubbery, dubby feel of the original and shines some sun on it, making it sparkle. Permission to shake your ass is granted, so long as you get the cool shoe shine.

Barry Adamson - Something Wicked This Way Comes
Laid back. Laid aaaaall the way back into Supreme Mellowness.
Also sporting a Hawaiian shirt and wearing sunglasses LONG after sunset.

The Bird & The Bee - So You Say

Beck - Girl/Timebomb
You want an essay on why Beck is on here twice? I'll write you one, you know I will.
But, for now, an explanation: of my five favorite bands, none of them does summer music like Beck. Nine Inch Nails comes close with "March of the Fuckheads", but this isn't horseshoes, folks. I put these two tracks on here back to back because I could not decide which one worked better. On one hand, you have the tried and true "Girl", which is probably the best summer jam on here; it has the high energy acoustic guitar strumming, it has the soaring chorus, those hand claps and it's just made for listening to while driving along a coastline in a convertible. On the other hand, there's "Timebomb". It's also high energy, but more stark, a little dangerous, and not as well known as the former. Plus, it has the word "ziggurat" in it, and nothing is more summery than a ziggurat. Honestly, I would have been perfectly happy with just adding "Girl" to this here summer mix...but I'm lying. I wouldn't have been.
Let me put it another way: What did you have for lunch, fellow Bite The Musicians?
A Hot Beck Summer Jam Sandwich, hold the complaining.

Bush - Glycerine
That one of my first in Florida, all I did was watch MTV. In the evenings, it was The Maxx and The Head and The State and Liquid Television, and, during the day, the MTV Beach House. God damn how I hated all those people. Not because they were having fun and I wasn't, but because I knew, even back then, that they were worthless and pointless and on fucking TV. They played this song at least once every hour. I'm sure some folks at my high school lost their virginity to this...but I was not one of them.

Green Day - When I Come Around
Same summer...same MTV Beach House...same hour.
Hey, anyone remember The Grind? That show where you'd just watch idiots dry hump each other in MTV's pseudo-industrial studio?
Wow was that stupid.

Mali Music - Le Mogon
I'm going to shoot a video for this. It's going to consist of a family of sloths (arranged by height, the baby in the back) walking through the sun-dappled jungles of Costa Rica and bobbing their heads to the beat.
My Kickstarter launches soon.

Erasure - Chains of Love
Childhood summer of forever; this song: all day, every day. Endless Summer.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Walkabout
The images contained within this song are very summery.
Every time I hear it, I delight in picturing the band just wandering through a desert; some of them barefoot (Flea is definitely barefoot), some wearing sandals.

Ol' Dirty Bastard - Last Call
But the summer isn't just about cars and the beach and cook outs and sex with girls, no! It's about getting crunk (which is "drunk", but misspelled because you're too drunk to remember how to spell it correctly)! And who knows more about music and getting crunk than the Ol' Dirty Bastard. He continues to move our asses from beyond the grave, like some horny specter with a Ouija board, but, instead of a Ouija board, it's our asses This also serves as a fitting prologue...

The Streets - Fit But You Know It
And thus begins the Drunkest Night Triptych.
You and your friends hit a pub, maybe get some food (but not nearly enough to soak up all the alcohol you're about to ingest) and then begin to steadily drink, and drink, and drink until...

Gabin - Bang Bang To The Rock 'N' Roll're at a backyard barbecue and getting ready to leave. Whose house this is and where it is, you have no idea and it doesn't matter. You are so drunk that you can either speak or walk, but not both and neither well. Whose vomit is this, whose shirt is this? The one thing you do know is that you need to leave and why...because that cute girl said she's going to this other party across town...and maybe she'll see you there?

Nouvelle Vague - Too Drunk To Fuck
Whoa. That got out of hand rather quickly. Bad luck, friend-o: you picked the girl with...issues. I'd get out of there as fast as I can, if I were you. And, once you do...the Drunkest Night Triptych ends in tragedy. But, there is a coda...

The Rapture - No Sex For Ben
It isn't Ben's fault. He was cock blocked by that crazy, French chick who started crying and waving a goddamn marlin spike around! She said it was for the limes...but no limes were in evidence..
Maybe next time, Ben.

The Flaming Lips - It's Summertime
Too easy? Wrong. YOU'RE too easy! Zing!!!
All the pussy/cock/ass chasing is over, the sun is setting. Sit back, relax. Take it is summertime after all...and, if you look inside, all you'll see is a self-reflected inner sadness.
Also, I like that the bridge at the end sounds like "Fuck Wit Dre Day" from The Chronic.

The Last Car - Firefly
Fireflies come out at night in the summer. And that's all you're gonna get.

*read: 'butt lovin'"

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